Not So Much A Party Any More...

4:00 am and the party's really rolling!

At first it was Brian and me and the two dogs -- Matty and Penny -- and the cat.

But then Traci came over and brought her friends Jason, Bill, Julie and Nicole and the whole event just took off!!!

Brian and I had borught some salmon and shrimp scampy for dinner, but that obviously wasn't going to serve 7. So we had to drive back into town to find a Walmart that was open and pick up some more shrimp and salmon, along with some refried beans and cheese and chips for appetizers. But it was too late to buy more beer.

Luckily, though, Brian and I are alcoholics, so we had enough to last for a while.

I phoned up my friend Marvin, who always knows how to get hold of plenty of intoxicants, and he said he could be here in an hour and a half.

It actually took him 3 hours to get here, by which time we had completely cleaned out the booze Brian and I brought, as well as the mere 2 bottles atop Tommy's fridge!

And we were chowing on bases (non-acidics: the cheese, beans and corn chips), so we were loosing our buzzes pretty quickly.

As our buzzes started to leave us, we started getting creative... and that's when Nicole and Bill did this clever thing on top of each other in one of Tommy's really, really nice chairs AND IT BROKE!!!

The good news is that it killed 15 minutes for all of us as we tried to figure out how to fix the recline-y part, and then another 7 or 8 as we just tried to figure out how to make the chair not look broken. By which time Marvin showed up with the liquor and 4 friends, only one of whom was a girl and none of whom I recognize.

And it looks like Marvin and them were already pretty basted BEFORE they came! I don't know HOW they made it all the way out to Elgin in their condition!!! (I don't even want to know which one of them was driving!!!)

So anyway, by this Matty (the smaller of the dogs, the one who is allowed into the house propper -- Penny hangs out in a utility area in the back of the house with a doggy door that leeads to the back yard) is getting a little freaked by all the noise and commotion. I've seen her in large crowds before, and she usually sits beneath one of the dinning room chairs and just sort of puts up with us. But I guess it was all too much for her, and she starts barking! Marvin's female friend, it turns out, has this thing about dogs, and she just totally looses it! Penny gets too excited and tears down the kiddy fence that usually keeps her in the untility room, and she leaps on one of Marvin's friends! Penny, I think, just wants to 'rassle, but this dude has to prove what a big strong guy he is and starts yelling at her.

Marvin and I calm him down and talk him out onto the deck -- which, I have to admit, is kind of a wreck by now. Beer cans and cigarette butts friggin' EVERYWHERE!!!

But anyway previously new-looking coffee table has this scratch across it, and I think there's a gouge in the fabric of the already broken recliner.

Yep, it's a gouge. You can see the stuffing when you sit in it (which I wouldn't recommend you do, anyway!).

Anyway, since tomorrow's the Forth, Traci's friend Jason brought over some firecrackers, and we're shooting them off in the driveway. And the cat is an outdoor cat that just sort of wanders around whereever it likes. Well it decided to wander into the firing range just as Marvin ignites this whirling, sparking, noise-making ball thingy, and the cat just FREAKS and takes off down the driveway headed, it looked liked, for the highway!!! Now, the cat wanders around, but Tommy's got enough land that it can wander forever without ever leaving Tommy's property, and I don't think I've ever seen it in the street.

So a couple of us chase it, but it just keeps running down the street, and so I get in my car to try to catch her and bring her back. But I guess my headlights or the noise of the engine freak her out even more, and she darts off into someone else's yard... someone with this HUGE wooly white demon-dog!

We haven't seen her for an hour, but I'm hoping she'll find her way back.

Meanwhile, Brian and Traci and I are trying everything we can to get the smell of burnt salmon and garlic cheese bread out of the kitchen -- luckily, you can't burn shrimp; though you can turn the garlic butter sauce into a wierd, crusty, solid, brown substance.

And Marvin's passed out on the couch.

Tommy's trying to sell the house. Did I mention that? And although I'm pretty sure Brian and I can clean up most of the stains on the carpet -- eventually -- I don't think we can get Marvin off that couch before noon tomorrow. It's the 4th, so he doesn't have to go to work.

OH WAIT!! IT'S THE 4TH OF JULY TOMORROW!!! Everybody's off work!!! So surely no one would want to spend their holiday looking at houses for sale!!!

Lucky break there!!!

--

Oh and one more little detail... This whole entry has been an elaborate ruse, cooked up to give Tommy a heart attack.

He probably figure out that it was all bull paragraphs ago, but I'm dropping it in just in case Dave or someone is reading it. And also in case I was possibly too clever and Tommy's blood pressure did shoot up a couple notches for a moment.

I'm writing this entry from my apartment. Since everyone is off tomorrow, we figured they might want to look at a house that's on the market -- ESPECIALLY Tommy's lush pad!!! -- and so we opted not to spend the night. The pets are all well taken care of, and all is well at the White House. (Tommy's last name is White. So is his wife's and his daughter's. Funny that, his Dad and Step-mother have the same last name, too!)

Though Brian and I did have a lovely meal of baked slamon and shrimp scampy and garlic cheese bread! It was fantastic!!! And we ate it while watching SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW with Tommy's surround-sound up pretty lound.

But then we cleaned up after ourselves and came home. Brian's already crashed for the night (after a 19-hour day!).

It's fun being a writer! This has been a neat little exercise in delicately balancing factual detail and over-the-top imaginings. I can't wait to hear what Tommy thought as he read it, and hear how well or poorly I pulled it off!!!

Oh, and apologies to Traci and Marvin for using their names in vain!