Burn-out HURTS!

Not in that sharp, stabbing way that send to you the Emergency Room, but in that dull, throbbing way that makes you wonder if you should take an asprin or maybe just go to bed early.

I can feel the collective weight of every cell in my body, and I can feel gravity actually pulling downward on this collection of cells, trying to drag me inside out, I think.

So after my last entry, I read and took extensive notes on Chapter 5 of --------, and I even found time to read a chapter of the new HARRY POTTER book before going to sleep!!! Very industrious, me!

Then today, I get to work on time, do my work as quickly as I can, hoping to get some more necessary reading done...

...and I just don't have the will!

All night I haven't been able to read because I can barely stay awake to finish up my shift. Reading is guaranteed to put me RIGHT OUT! (Unless I have insomnia. For some reason, if I have to get up early the next morning but I can't get to sleep, reading just passes the time. But if I WANT to stay awake when I'm in a low-energy cycle, the words are like cough syrup to me. Go figure.)

The good thing about being in a burn-out phase is that it won't last. Nothing does. I tend to go in 2- to 4-day cycles. Whenever I knock out some good pages, it will be 2, 3, or 4 days before more pages will come. HOWEVER... Being burnt-out tonight means that I'll probably get a lot done Saturday, or maybe Sunday.

I've heard people bemoan the fact that "Everything changes". I embrace it! I mean, yeah, it means that if you're living in a perfect moment, that moment will end. I accept that; I don't thing our physical lives ARE MEANT TO be our perfect lives. I suspect that this life, in what we perceive as physical reality, is DEFINED by it's limitations.

And the cool thing about THAT is that even the negative stuff has limitations!!! And sometimes just a little patience and the knowlege that nothing lasts forever can make you look like some badass who just keeps his cool no matter what chaos is unleashed around him! But really, all you're doing is biding your time.

Blah.

Ray Jay Philosophy. Do with it what you will.

OOH! I'm hanging with Traci Saturday! That's gonna be groovy!

Oh, and as of Friday (tomorrow... TODAY, technically!) I will have slipped behind schedule with Episode 1 of Ezekiel Hollow. But I'm not sweating it. -------- (the project Brian and Tommy and I are working on) is my first priority. The Ezekiel Hollow scripts are second priority. (There's a bit of a time factor with the -------- project.) So I'm not overly concerned about the writing schedule I created for myself.

Besides, working on -------- is quite an in-depth study in the art and craft of writing, so Ezekiel Hollow can really only BENEFFIT from the time I spend on --------.

Blah.

Okay, just killin' time now.

So I'm gonna go.

Bye.