So Here's What's Fun In My Life

Yesterday started off with a bang for me when I tentatively tried to talk Brian into going to this years Creative Screenwriting Expo 4 with me and Kel -- offering to buy the tickets if he can save some food money -- AND HE WAS INTO IT!!!

A lot of times Brian seems have this inexplicable sense of obligation to his job -- inexplicable because they treat him like crap, despite the fact that he's a friggin' WORKHORSE -- and in the past he's passed up fun time because he knows it's going to inconvenince his employers. (This is a cat that -- as a kid -- skipped school on a regular basis to skate, mind you.)

But he agreed!

So my day started off GREAT!!!

But I had to work yesterday...

Which didn't suck. I mean, it was long and boring, and I don't have any coffee at work so I had to tough it out without any back-up stamina to assist.

I aired this really bad movie starring a very young Brad Pit called The Dark Side of the Sun. Really bad.

But then I aired an episode of the 2002-2003 The Twilight Zone (the series I've been rocking on dvd so much lately), so that was groovy.

AND I read another chapter of --------! 4 more to go!

Since I got there ar 3:00 pm, my 10-hour shift was up at 1:00 am -- rather than the usual 2a.

Tommy and his family are out of town for the weekend, so I cruised to his pad to check on the aminals(sic). I took this sort-of back way that Tommy takes to work and home, that's more Dark-And-Open-Road-y and less Lighted-With-Clearly-Marked-Indications-Of-Where-You-Are-y. But I had a sense that, even as long as it's been since I traveled this path, I could sort of feel my way along it.

Meantime, Brian and I once spent a week at Tommy's, house-sitting, and it took me many, many days before I was brave enough to try this route at night, and I managed to waste a quarter of a tank of gas getting way-lost and finding my way back.

And to really make the atmosphere creepy, I was listening to Michael Crichton's SPHERE on cd (it's abridged, but it's read by the uber-vocally-gifted Edward Asner and it's REALLY well produced!) about a team of scientists going down to live in an Navy underwater habitat to investigate an alien craft that has been discovered to have crashed into our ocean some 300 years ago. And it's Crichton, so it's scary in a really, really smart way!

And you know what? I found the path just fine! I have this thing I do when traveling long distances by car, and alone, in which I freak myself out every 10 or 15 miles by questioning whether or not I've missed an important turn or landmark. And I had to quash that a few times, but I did find the Not-Lighted-And-Lacking-In-Clearly-Marked-Indications-Of-Where-I-Am path without any problem.

When I got there, the puppies -- Matty and Penny, who aren't so much puppies any more, but their SO CUTE that I can't help but think of them as such -- were in desperate need of some love, so I loved on 'em! And they both needed water. (Well, they didn't NEED water, but 2 out of the 3 water dishes Tommy had laid out for them were dry.) And I went ahead and refilled 2 out of 3 of their food bowls -- which weren't empty, but just getting ther -- for good measure.

The kitty -- I can't rememebr her name; it's either Bo or Tie, I think, but I can't remember which -- was out of both food and water, so I cleaned out her dishes (she's an out-door cat and those bastard ants were just all up in that!) and replenished her grub.

I even remembered to grab Tommy's mail this time!!! (YAY, Ray Jay!!!) He didn't have anything interesting, so I threw it all away. (jk)

I got back home around 4a, Mr. Asner reading to me for the whole trip, and listened to a little bit more of SPHERE. Then I remembered that my latest issue of Creative Screenwriting magazine has a preliminary schedule for the Expo 4, so I spent a few hours parsing the events and creating my own agnenda for the expo. (Brian and Kelly will be there, so they'll have their own ideas about what will be cool, natch; plus there are always changes when it actually gets down to expo time.)

Then I crawled into bed and fell asleep to the Superman radio show -- a storyline called "Drought in Freeville" that ran from January 21, 1947 to February 11, 1947.

This morning I woke up to some more of Kevin Smith's blog, and Brian and I are just chillin' until time to hook up with Mom for dinner.

Let's Try This Again

I'm at home now, and feeling CONSIDERABLY less stressed.

On the drive home I got to listen to the soundtrack to Twilight Zone: The Movie. It's a really great score. Particularly the "Kick the Can" (Spielberg's) section.

I've been jonesing for Twilight Zone for a while now. I'm just obsessed with it! I've been listening to the Twilight Zone Radio Dramas, of which I own 32 of the cds that they sell on their site. I've watched the first 2 discs of the 2002-2003 UPN version of the show, hosted by Forest Whitaker. I got a copy of Twilight Zone: The Movie and have watched is a couple of times. And just today I got the soundtrack cd from Amazon.com. They apparently found a version manufactured in Germany, so it's technically an import -- though I can't find any difference at all, the words are all in English and the content seems to be exactly the same as the vinyl version I woned growing up -- but I believe it's completely out of print here in the States.

So anyway, the drive home allowed me to relax quite a bit.

I didn't realize how NOISY it's been in my head lately. Since I'm spending so much time just doing what needs to be done, most of my recreation takes place inside my skull. In fact right now, if you saw me writing this, you'd see a painfully good-looking dude chilling in his room with his feet kicked up on his bed, smoking an d tapping on his keyboard. But in my head I'm reassuring myself that yes, I do remember dropping off the rent just 5 minutes ago, wondering what I'm going to eat at work tomorrow (can I be bothered in the morning to make some spaghetti & meatballs to take with me or just chow on the nukeable pizzas I already have there?), trying to decide whether I want to play some Tomb Raider before I go to bed or maybe watching a movie would be more relaxing, and reminding myself to email an old script I finished but abandoned to my friend Nicole.

Oh, and I just remembered that my coworker, Lothar, loaned me a copy of this SERENITY bonus dvd that he got when he bought Season One of the new Battlestar Galactica. I'll be watching THAT for sure!

The point is just that it's wierd to me when I notice these moments (days, sometimes) when my life is lived primarily in my head. It's odd.

I think a lack of significant human contact -- friends and loved ones, as opposed to coworkers and acquaintences -- can do odd things to us. And it always feels surreal to realize that the majority of the activity I remember is just thoughts, buzzing around my cranium.

You know?

Blah.

Okay, I think I'll relocate to the living room couch and catch a sneak peak of some of the wonderous joy Joss Whedon has in store for us come September.

PEACE!

Too Busy For YOU!

OH...

MY...

GOSH!!!

I need a friggin' BREAK!!! I feel like I've been working NON-STOP for a week now!

ARGH!!!

Blah.

Sorry. It's Friday, and this is my busiest day, plus I'm coming in not only tomorrow, but NEXT SATURDAY also! And I've been working straight from 5p to 2a -- that's 9 straight hours -- and I'm just wiped-the-fuck-OUT!

I'd probably feel less stressed if I didn't have to come in tomorrow.

But blah. I need the money, so it'll all be worth it in 2 weeks.

Oh, also my check this pay period is NADA! It's enough to pay the rent and put gas in the car, and I guess I'm feelin' a little stressed about that, too. Things have been working out financially for the past few months, and I've been able to even go out to see some flicks in the theater. But this check is just NADA.

Whatever, I'm just whining! Life is actually quite groovy! I'm not complaining because stuff is bad, I'm just blowing off steam because I've been working like a madman and I'm still coming down off the rush.

Blah.

Anyway, sorry this entry is crap, but I figured it would be better than continued silence. Hope to write something interesting maybe Monday.

Hope your weekend is DIVINE!!!

Classic Horror Moment Beats

Here it is. For non-horror-writer geeks, you might want to wait until something fun or strnage happens to me and give this one a miss. (But, Regina, skip down to my last entry...)

There are 2 reasons this fascinates me so. The first is that I'm finding that my first scare scene in Ezekiel Hollow fell a little flat. It wasn't really a "classic" moment, the type of moment you tell your friends about after the story's over. And when Michael Keaton (on the filmmakers' commentary for WHITE NOISE) mentioned THOSE moments, the ones that let you know you're watching -- or, in his case, acting in -- a horror movie, I decided to see if I could spot what comprised those moments.

Also, I've seen tons of flat-out BAD horror movies. And I've always wondered just why those moments didn't work. There are the Big Picture reasons, like the story sucks so you don't really CARE if these 2-dimensional characters die. Or the directing is so bad you just don't believe the world of the movie exists for real on ANY level. But the specific moments -- that in some of the "better" ones are scary, anyway -- that you rented this movie to see just don't work.

Why?

And I think I figured it out.

Okay, so the 6 story beats that play out in a classic horror scene/sequence:

1. Reveal that there is Danger.
2. What is the Danger?
3. Reveal the Danger.
4. Try to prevent/escape the Danger.
5. The Danger strikes.
6. Reveal the aftermath.

First off, to clarify some terminology.

When I say "Danger" in this context, I'm not talking about mere danger to the character. Those classic horror moments don't come from just ANY danger, they come from THE Danger, the very specific "monster" that the central story of the movie revolves around. If you're watching a horror movie and jump out of your seat because a cat jumps out of a garbage can, the fact that it's not the Monster makes you forget that scare immediately. It's a fake-out. A cheap scare. Those don't count in our memory because that's just the filmmaker filling time until the REAL scare, or trying to get us to let our guard down so we jump higher when the real scare pops out.

So when I refer to the Danger, I'm refering ONLY to the central threat of the movie.

Next is the term "Reveal". I attach very specific significance to the word "reveal" here. One of the great joys of watching movies is when a character, situation or story point is Revealed.

In screenwritng jargon a Reveal is that moment when the audience experiences a revelation. An important piece of the puzzle is placed before them and they suddenly -- and often shockingly -- understand a great deal more about what's going on in the story than they did just 30 frames ago.

Directors often "Reveal" their important actors. An unimportant character will simply walk into a scene, but the camera and editing usually Reveals the star to the audience.

The Reveal clues the audience into something important. It subconsciously tells them "Pay attention to THIS".

So to make horror moments really HAPPEN for the audience, 3 beats in the horror moment are Revealed. They create surprise.

More about Reveals in a moment.

Okay, so, the beats:

1. Reveal that there is Danger.

The the Danger just appears and attacks, the audience doesn't have time to build up a sense of dread, which is very important to getting the most out of a scare. If the Monster just pops out and kills, that's merely "shock" and sensation is gone a quickly as it came. And the audience doesn't have time to fear what is going to happen. It's over as soon as it does.

Not to say that shock doesn't have it's place, but it doesn't usually create a really memorable, "classic" horror moment. And it NEVER does if the movie doesn't have some TRULY classic movie moments! That's why straight-to-video horror movies are so forgettable. Plus, shock is like a punch in the face; it's so unpleasant that the human memory tends to let it slip away at the first opportunity. You might remember that you WERE shcked, but you won't remember the sensation itself.

So the first beat is to Reveal that Danger exists. Once the audience knows the character is about to face the Monster, fear rears it's ungly head, and quickly becomes dread.

2. What is the Danger?

This is where you start working the audience. It's clearly a manipulation, but when it's done well the audience forgives you. The point where the character starts trying to figure out from which direction the attack will come from is the point that the horror moment gets suspenseful! Every moment that the character doesn't see the Danger is another moment of fearful agony. And every frame of film creates more and more dread -- being a sense of impending disaster -- builds up within the audience (and within the character, if the actor's good enough) exponentially!

Here's where bad filmmakers make their first mistake. They have a character walking down a long, dark hallway or something and they just expect the audience to experience an instantaneous sense of dread. But they haven't Revealed the Danger, so the audience has no reason to believe that this long, drawn-out moment is any different from all the other long, drawn-out moments they've been watching in this boring piece of technical masterbation.

But by promising the audience "THIS is IT" (Step 1), this moment becomes excruciating!

(I'm not a sadist, I swear! But I do enjoy a bit of creative psychological warfare if there is no danger of REAL people being hurt.)

3. Reveal the Danger.

Again with the Reveal. You don't just have the Half-Naked-Hotty walk through a line of trees and bump into the Masked Killer. The audience already KNOWS that when she gets to where she's going she's going to be mangled horribly.

You play with your audience a bit. Tease them.

You let them think that the end of the tree line is where the killer is, then show them something inexplicable, the Reveal the Danger, allowing them to put together the pieces of the puzzle themselves so that they experience that surprise when they see what they already knew they were going to see.

[At the end of the illustrations I'll improve a horror scene and you judge the effectiveness of my theory yourself.]

4. Try to prevent/escape the Danger.

If the character has no chance of escape, then the audience's sense of dread dies with the character's death.

But if you show them an escape route that actually has a shot at saving the character, then the audience genuinely isn't sure what the outcome of the scene/sequence will be!

Another beniffit from utilizing these steps is that fact that the Primary Character might not be the one in danger, during which times the audience KNOWS that the Secondary Character -- assuming that the Secondary Character is the one the Danger is poised to strike -- will die!

But once the Primary Character takes action to try to prevent the attack on the Secondary Character, the audience suddenly experiences a rush of empathy for the Primary Character ("What if that were MY friend about to die?!") and the audience also intuitively knows that the Primary Character has a chance of succeeding! (it's HIS/HER movie, right?)

So this step raises questions in the audience's mind about whether a death is about to occur.

5. The Danger strikes.

Now if this is a death scene -- and for the purposes of creating the classic horror moment here, it is -- then this is where the Monster shows resourcefulness or sheer power and attacks the character. This is what the audience expects to be the "payoff" of the scene. But in a GOOD horror movies...

6. Reveal the aftermath.

THIS is the actual payoff, and this is potentially where you hit the audience the hardest.

You're not just revealing the character to be dead, but you're including some unexpected detail that makes the death (a) more real and human, and (b) surprising in some way.

A common mistake is in splatter flicks: The filmmaker doesn't "reveal" the aftermath, he simply shows it, trusting that the expensive and elaborate special makeup effects will provide the emotional impact. The ax-wielding maniac swings his weapon and it imbeds itself into the dummy head and the body falls to the ground.

But if this same filmmaker Revealed the aftermath, we might not see the hit, and the effect of the hit might turn out to be something we didn't expect (for instance, when the ax is revealed to be imbedded in the victims head, maybe we discover that the victim died with a look of curiosity on his face, rather than stock or terror).

So, putting my own principals of horror storytelling to practice, I will improvise 2 different scenes to illustrate my point.

BAD HORROR MOMENT
1. A HALF-NAKED-HOTTIE climbs out of the lake. She hears a twig snap!

2. The Half-Naked Hotty scans the wilderness around, but doesn't see anything. She nervously looks around for the rest of her clothes.

3. Another twig snaps, and the Half-Naked-Hotty sees THE AX-WIELDING MANIAC a yard or so away from her.

4. The Half-Naked-Hottie runs away from the Ax-Wielding-Maniac.

5. She looks back behind her and doesn't see the Ax-Wielding-Maniac. Where did he go? Then the Ax-Wielding-Maniac pops out from a tree (a Reveal, granted, but not a believable one) and brings his ax down into her head, splitting it in half with a bloody, juidy THUD...

6. ...and her half-naked hottie body falls to the ground. Then the Ax-Wielding-Maniac stomps off, searching for his next victim.

Sucks, right? Ask me how many times I've seen the equivalent scene in a movie. Ask me how much money I've wasted on video rentals that turned out to be merely a collection of such scenes.

BETTER HORROR MOMENT
1. A HALF-NAKED-HOTTIE climbs out of the lake. She starts looking for her clothes, then hears a dripping sound. It's not her!

[The fact that it's a dripping sound, rather that the cliche snapping of a twig is part of the reveal. You weren't expecting that. You now have a puzzle to solve, PLUS you suddenly realize that there's more to this world that what you expected.]

2. The Half-Naked Hottie scans the wilderness around her. She nervously looks around for the rest of her clothes. She finds them. But then she hears the dripping sound again. Quickly, clumsily, she puts her clothes on, always darting glances to her left and right, to see that nothing -- and no one -- is coming. Fully dressed, though the the lake water is soaking through her blouse, the Hottie hears the dripping sound again. She follows the direction it seems to be coming from, wandering cautiously farther away from the lake and into a darker, denser clump of trees. She hears the sound again, looks through the trees, careful not to make a sound.

[I had her put her clothes on simply to prolong the sense of dread -- the Ax-Wielding-Maniac could attack her at ANY POINT during the process -- and to thumb my nose at the "conventional wisdom" of lazy-ass filmmakers who believe a naked (or half-naked) hottie in jeopardy is necessarily more vulnerable than a clothed hottie. However, taking distributors -- who simply like to see naked female breasts -- into account, I'm not veering too far away from the genere I'm writing for.]

3. The Hottie spies HANDS holding the bi-sected back-end of the carcass of a possum, blood dripping out of it! Then she spies the AX-WIELDING-MANIAC, squeazing the boold into his mouth, some of the blood bouncing off his boddy and onto the rocks at his feet! The Hottie gasps and the Ax-Wielding-Maniac's head immediately swivels toward her! Simultaneously, he drops the carcass and snatches up his ax, making for the direction from which the sound of the gasp came!

[This Reveal (theoretically) credibly answer the question you asked about the first Reveal, and also shocks you, and also tells you just a little bit more about the Ax-Weilding-Maniac than you expected to learn. It might also humanize him, in an apalling way.]

4. The Hottie runs away! She threads her way through the trees, cutting herself from time to time on stubby branches. She allows herself to glance back, and sees that the Ax-Wielding-Maniac is after her, but still a safe enough distance -- if ANY distance can be considered safe ENOUGH -- ahead of him! Finally, ahead of her she sees the Ranger's Shack! If she can just make it to the Ranger's shack before the Ax-Wielding-Maniac catches up with her, she can be safe inside a cabin that contains a gun and ammo and a man who is trained to use them! But another glance back reveals that the Ax-Wielding-Maniac is faster than he looks! He's only ten feet away from her! So she screeams "Help me! He's behind me!" She runs with all her might, and the shack door opens! The RANGER steps outside and see the Hottie running toward him. THEN he sees the Ax-Wielding-Maniac close on her heels! He draws his gund and FIRES, but the bullet pierces a tree RIGHT BESIDE the Ax-Wielding-Maniac's left eye! He missed! He cocks the hammer of his revolver again...

[Now, it could be argued that I'm simnply adding more words to describe the running part, and words means a bigger budget for the filmmaker. But in the end, what is significantly different about this scene is that the Hotty now has more then a reasonable chance of surviving this scene than she did in the previous incarnation. What's more, YOU'RE just a little bit more interested in how this might turn out than you were in the Bad version! The Ranger and the Ranger's Shack can be budgetes for if they are re-used in the movie, particularly if the Ranger is one of the Primary Characters -- which would help prove the point I was making above. And another very significant eliment of this point is that REAL writing is REWRITING -- going back over the story that the author told, and MAXIMIXZING the EFFECT of it on his audience!!!]

5. ...but just as the second round FIRES, the Ax-Wielding-Maniac HURLS his weapon at the Hottie, and when it hits the back of her head, she crumples to the ground!

[This is really obvious, here. Since this is a horror movie, you know that the Hottie is dead,, but in the confusion of action, maybe the Ax-Wielding-Maniac is dead, or at least wounded. Never the less, you're not entirely sure what the Aftermath will be.]

6. The Ranger scans the trees, but he sees no sign of the Ax-Wielding-Maniac. Did he escape unharmed? Is he lying dead in the grass? The Ranger appraoches where the Hottie fell, and he quickly turns around and vomits! Then we see the face of the Hottie, the ax sticking out of the back of her skull, and a look of annoyance on her face -- she died wondering what that pestering stinging was on the back of her scalp.

[Now, that last discription would play better as a visual, but it gets across my main idea that the Aftermath should be something unexpectedly human Plus, the fact that we see the Ranger's reaction BEFORE we see for ceratin that the Hottie is dead makes this, at least technically, a Reveal.]

Now, do YOU understand the point I am trying to make?

I have certainly proved it to myself. The first scene I wrote, following my own rules, as a scene I've scene hundreds of times. The second scene I wrote UTILIZING my own rules and altering the scene where necessary. Which scene would you rather see in a horror movie?

So I feel comfortable, in my own writing, adhering to the steps I've outlined above. There is not guarentee that they will work for another writer -- just as the multitufe of books/seminars I've paid for have 100% worked for me -- but I'm THRILLED to have cracked the code for myself!!!

Checkin' In

Don't have a great deal to report tonight. Sorry.

BIG SHOUT-OUT TO REGINA!!! Hope you enjoyed the well-earned smoke! (Reowww!)

Today was work & stuff, so nothing particularly exciting about my day today, but yesterday (Sunday) was pretty fruitful!!!

I spent the first half of Sunday reading 3 chapters of --------, which means I have 5 more to go.

Then I spent the last half of yesterday catching up with an old friend... let me rephrase that, a long-time friend! (She has only celebrated her 29th birthday twice so far.) For, like, 5 hours!!! It was groovy!

And I had to get up early today, so we had to cut the conversation off at 3:00 am. (3:00 am?!!! I guess maybe we ARE getting old, huh?)

Oh, and, like, Saturday I watched WHITE NOISE, then watched it again with the director's commentary, and I had this epiphany about writing horror scenes that feel classic. You know, those scenes that say "Uh-oh! You're in trouble now!" (WARNING: Writer-Geek time...)

There are, I believe, 6 story beats within those moments.

1. Reveal that there is Danger.
2. What is the Danger?
3. Reveal the Danger.
4. Try to prevent/escape Danger.
5. Danger attacks.
6. Reveal the Aftermath.

I've read tons of theories about how to construct a scare scene, but rarely from a horror writer I know. King, Matheson, Crichton, Williamson, Romero... none of these guys have said -- to my knowledge -- "This is how to build a scare moment".

So the guys that DO tell beginning writers how to construct scare moments are basically deconstructing effective ones from past movies.

And their therories are more about psychology than function. Which doesn't work for me. I mean, I WANT the psychology, but I also need the function! I need it all.

So now I'm going to be one of those guys you've never read DEconstructing (rather than CONSTRUCTING) what I believe to be the essential beats of a classic horror moment...

But not tonight. (If I reeled ya in there, sorry!) I don't have time. But I promise to revisit this when I do. It's pretty fascinating! Michael Keaton meantioned, on the director's commentary of WHITE NOISE, two scenes that he specifically enjoyed playing because they made him "feel like" he was in a horror movie. And the second time he said it I noticed that these are the scenes I'm waiting for when I watch a horror movie.

So why is that? What is it about those scenes that make the whole movie more enjoyable for me? What makes up those scenes? And how?

So I WILL return to this, maybe tomorrow.

Meantime, PEACE!!!

OH! And fingers crossed for the Space Shuttle Discovery launch at approximately 9:39 am!!! I believe one of the things that can save us from ourselves is turning our eyes to the skies again, and being reminded just how small and petty our political arguements really are!

Not certain, but I think that was why President Kennedy was so gung-ho to get us shooting for the moon, so that we as a species could unite in pursuit of cosmic discovery... Rather than be bored enough to try to kill each other for entertainment.

So prayers for a successful and safe launch!!!

Oral Hygine on the Highway

I HAD TO log on and share this one with ya!

So it's just after 2:00 am and I'm headed home, about a block away from the station, waiting to turn left. I've got my windows rolled down -- because the car's AC is too cold after 10 hours in meat-locker temperatures, but it's just flat-out TOO HOT to not have SOME air blowing on me. And this car, a cool-looking convertable, pulls up next to me. After a second I hear a guy yell something, but the Left-Turn arrow lights up so I make my turn.

The car turns with me and tries to catch up. But it's a twisty stretch of road, so he honks.

I'm curious. Do I have a flat? Is my trunk on fire? Is it Ed McMahon with a giant Publishers Clearing House check for me?

I slow down a bit. The guy pulls up beside me and asks "Where you going?" I reply "Home." I'm still downtown; if this guy's trouble I've got MILES to loose him before I'm even NEAR my own 'hood.

Then, not breaking eye contact with me, he puts his fist up to his mouth as though about to cough, then he starts moving it back and forth, closer to and farther from his lips, as if to say "Wanna brush my teeth for me?"

I can't hold back a laugh.

My turn onto MoPac is coming up, so I shake my head and wave and say "No. Thanks." As I turn onto the on-ramp I hear him call out "Why not?" And then he slips into my lane and follows me onto MoPac.

Once we've both safely merged onto the freeway -- you'd be surprised how much traffic there is after 2a on an Austin weeknight -- he hops lanes and pulls up next to me again. He repeats the hand gesture once more, making sure I haven't reconsidered his offer. Again I laugh and shake my head, and I accelerate and put some distance between me and my Friendly Oral Higenist Dude.

Now, on the one hand I'm flattered. It's been QUITE A WHILE since anyone has shown any sign of physical attraction to me. PLUS, gay men are stereotypically picky. So I choose to take this to mean that I'm not dog-ugly. It's possible for another human being to drive up beside me and, in an instant, think "That's not a dog-ugly person."

And on the other hand, I realize just how pathetic I really am... If that had been an attractive woman making the offer, I might have followed her to WHERE EVER SHE WANTED TO GO to collect on her invitation.

Still, pathetic or not, the humor of this bizarre situation is PRICELESS!!!

This HAS TO show up in a screenplay!

KEEP AUSTIN WIERD!!!

Burn-out HURTS!

Not in that sharp, stabbing way that send to you the Emergency Room, but in that dull, throbbing way that makes you wonder if you should take an asprin or maybe just go to bed early.

I can feel the collective weight of every cell in my body, and I can feel gravity actually pulling downward on this collection of cells, trying to drag me inside out, I think.

So after my last entry, I read and took extensive notes on Chapter 5 of --------, and I even found time to read a chapter of the new HARRY POTTER book before going to sleep!!! Very industrious, me!

Then today, I get to work on time, do my work as quickly as I can, hoping to get some more necessary reading done...

...and I just don't have the will!

All night I haven't been able to read because I can barely stay awake to finish up my shift. Reading is guaranteed to put me RIGHT OUT! (Unless I have insomnia. For some reason, if I have to get up early the next morning but I can't get to sleep, reading just passes the time. But if I WANT to stay awake when I'm in a low-energy cycle, the words are like cough syrup to me. Go figure.)

The good thing about being in a burn-out phase is that it won't last. Nothing does. I tend to go in 2- to 4-day cycles. Whenever I knock out some good pages, it will be 2, 3, or 4 days before more pages will come. HOWEVER... Being burnt-out tonight means that I'll probably get a lot done Saturday, or maybe Sunday.

I've heard people bemoan the fact that "Everything changes". I embrace it! I mean, yeah, it means that if you're living in a perfect moment, that moment will end. I accept that; I don't thing our physical lives ARE MEANT TO be our perfect lives. I suspect that this life, in what we perceive as physical reality, is DEFINED by it's limitations.

And the cool thing about THAT is that even the negative stuff has limitations!!! And sometimes just a little patience and the knowlege that nothing lasts forever can make you look like some badass who just keeps his cool no matter what chaos is unleashed around him! But really, all you're doing is biding your time.

Blah.

Ray Jay Philosophy. Do with it what you will.

OOH! I'm hanging with Traci Saturday! That's gonna be groovy!

Oh, and as of Friday (tomorrow... TODAY, technically!) I will have slipped behind schedule with Episode 1 of Ezekiel Hollow. But I'm not sweating it. -------- (the project Brian and Tommy and I are working on) is my first priority. The Ezekiel Hollow scripts are second priority. (There's a bit of a time factor with the -------- project.) So I'm not overly concerned about the writing schedule I created for myself.

Besides, working on -------- is quite an in-depth study in the art and craft of writing, so Ezekiel Hollow can really only BENEFFIT from the time I spend on --------.

Blah.

Okay, just killin' time now.

So I'm gonna go.

Bye.

Read Another Chapter!!!

I'm psyched that I just finished ANOTHER chapter from the -------- project I'm working on!!!

You don't understand, reading this thing takes me away from lighter forms of entertainment. So actually exhibiting the discipline it takes to stick to a deadline fills me with tons of pride!!!

(What can I say? It doesn't take much to fill me with pride in myself. If you knew what I was reading -- this "work" I'm complaining about -- you'd slap me onto my dumb ass!)

Anyway... YAY ME!

Okay, back to work.

A Night Of Horror And The Supernatural...

...and a bit of Comedy!!!

I started out my day with a meeting at work. (That is the day job, the station. I WISH I could have started today off with a meeting with Tommy and Brian!) Then I dilligently sat down and read Chapter 3 of --------.

Took me 2 hours.

This is the type of reading that should have taken me half an hour, but it took me 4-times that long!

Blah.

Anyway, more good notes and an epiphany for our adaptation, so I'd say it was worth it.

I had planned to read 2 or 3 more chapters (and hoped to read, like, 9!), but after that 2 straight hours, I decided to take a break.

That break spanned 4 movies.

Oops.

But the groovy news (for ME) is that I got to re-watch TWILIGHT ZONE: THE MOVIE, which I have seen in forever, and which I've been jonesing to see for a while now. Brian joined me. And then we moved on to HIDE AND SEEK, which I FINALLY saw!!! I've been dying to see that since BEFORE it was released in theaters!!! Then I decided to swicth over to comedy for a bit with MAN OF THE HOUSE, shot here in Austin! That was fun! And then Brian crashed out on me as I popped in WHITE NOISE for my second viewing. (First on dvd; I got to see that one in the theaters thanks to my sweet, sweet friend Lisa!)

Not a bad day off for me! At first I thought it was going to be fairly painful, since I had to go into work at my normal time (even though I only had to stay an hour). But then, any day that allows me to watch 4 movies (2 of which I hadn't seen before and wanted to) is A REALLY GREAT DAY!!!

OOH! PLUS I woke up this morning to "The Lineman", and episode of UPN's 2002-2003 THE TWILIGHT ZONE series! (Hadn't seen that one before, either!)

So, like a said, a pretty great day!!!

Also, I notice something troubling... I'm in a busy phase of my life right now. (That's not the troubling bit.) And these are the times of my life when I'm doing the most interesting things! (Again, not the troubling bit.) But these are also the times in my life when I have the least time or energy to blog. (That's it.)

I have no idea how Kevin Smith pulls it off!

I mean, the longest stretches of silence in my personal journal are the coolest stretches of my life! For the most part, I only make journal entries when nothing else is going on, and I have plenty of time to start feeling all blue and whiny.

However, I never felt any real sense of obligation to my personal journal. That's just for me. I DO feel some degree of responsibility toward this blog. The reality is that only a handful of people are reading this every once in a while, and they all know me and therefore have some idea of what's going on in my life anyway. But I write these entries as though I actually have a readership, in hopes that maybe one day I will. So I'll try to remember to make the time to make even the simplest entries on a fairly regular basis.

Besides, it's just good practice to always find the time for me to write. Even if I am just blathering on about my day. Writers write. It's whay they call them writers. And I'm not a pro, and writing isn't the ONLY thing I do, but it is something I do. So I should... you know... keep doing it.

No promises about the spelling, though. Sorry. This current Internet setup of mine makes editing a bit more time-consuming than it was when I could blog on my own computer.

Blah.

Anyway, cool day! Hope yours didn't suck!

Having a great weekend!

Friday I got the new HARRY POTTER book on my way home from work and read the first 2 chapters! It's off to a great start!!!

I also bought a couple of movies, HIDE AND SEEK and DEVOUR.

I watched the first half of DEVOUR with William Saddler and Dominique Swain. Neither of them is the star, but I can't remember his name. He's the guy Lana Lang met in Paris this last season of SMALLVILLE. He's also co-starring in a WB show coming out this fall called SUPERNATURAL. (Saw the sneak screener for it and it's gonna be fun!) I finished DEVOUR just about a half-hour ago. It was pretty cool.

Yesterday I got the oil changed on the car, got a haircut -- I couldn't bear the monstrous Back-Street-Boys-wannabe 'do the chick who cut my hair a few weeks ago saddled me with; I thought it might grow out into something acceptable, but it didn't -- and saw GEORGE A. ROMERO'S LAND OF THE DEAD!!! (All 3 things were long-overdue necessities!)

GEORGE ROMERO RULES!!! And he needs to make more movies!!! He really likes his audiences to have something to think about after the blood and guts are over! LAND OF THE DEAD may be my favorite of the DEAD series! (I'll need to see it a few more times to be sure.) It's got everything audiences loved about NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and DAWN OF THE DEAD, and it's got the stuff he was trying to do in DAY OF THE DEAD -- I say "trying" simply because it seemed most audiences just didn't seem to be into that particular installment, myself, I'm sorry to say, included -- but it balances it all out PERFECTLY!!!

I'm so disappointed the flick didn't do better box office!!! It opened at 4th place (it was slammed by whatever else opened that weekend; I don't remember), but then just disappeared. 3 or 4 weeks later, I saw it in the only theater in town that still has it!

And that sucks!

Studios need to know that Romero is an important filmmaker! It took TOO LONG for the forth DEAD movie to be made, and I'm afraid it might take a while for Romero's next flick to get made. AND I WANNA SEE IT!!! WHATEVER IT IS!!!

That's maybe the 1 disappoinment about being a fan-boy this summer, the fact that LAND didn't make a gajillion bucks at the theaters.

But then, I guess maybe Romero's movies are the sort that really find their legs on video and dvd. I mean, I didn't see any of the previous movies on the Big Screen. (AND I'M SO THANKFUL I GOT TO SEE THIS ONE ON IT!!!) I kind of had to "discover" Romero's flicks in my own time. Maybe that's just the nature of his work. People have to "discover" him for themselves, in their own time. And this summer -- like all summers and holiday seasons of the new mellinium -- is just so packed with movies that theaters don't have the space to let movies find their audiences.

Damn Corporate Hollywood!!! The Corporate mentality just SUCKS!!!

Ooh, and that segueways NICELY into my activities today: I woke up and read most of Michael Crichton's RISING SUN!!!

I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book!!! The movie was a really good adaptation, it's what actually lead me to the book! RISING SUN was one of the few Crichton books I hadn't yet read.

Here's the thing about Crichton's novels: He gets curious about stuff, and researches it for years until he has answered all his questions about the subject and arrives at a satisfactory overall picture of the subject matter in his mind. Then, once he understands this thing and how it works and how he feels about it, it usually suggests a story to him. Luckily for us, he loves to tell exciting stories, laying out his understanding of the thing(s) he's researched as he goes. Quite often, you buy a book because you want to read about, say, traveling back in time to the days of Lords and Ladies and knights, and by the time you finish you realize you've learned a great deal about quantum physics and the beginnings of our current economy.

I got into Crichton because his novels read like blockbuster movies -- with all the fast-pasing and emotional excitement. But the older I get, the more I've grown to love what he teaches me -- that I'm too lazy to learn about on my own. It's like he knows what I need to learn about in order to evolve intellectually, then he writes a kick-ass book about it.

I told Brian earlier that teachers (like, junior high and high school) should assign Crichton books to students, have them read the books and do book reports on them, then spend a few weeks seperating fact from fiction in the kids' minds.

Here's the cariculum:

Biology: THE ANDROMEDA STRAIN; CONGO
Social Studies: AIRFRAME; DISCLOSURE; STATE OF FEAR; RISING SUN
Literature: EATERS OF THE DEAD
Science: TIMELINE; JURASSIC PARK; THE LOST WORLD; PREY
Philosophy: TRAVELS; SPHERE

And I'm probably missing a ton of them, but that's just off the top of my head.

So RISING SUN was written in the mid-90s and was Crichton's analysis of how the Japanese conducted their business affairs versus how we contuct ours. I don't know if it's all still true, but the thing I take away from the book is the HUGE differences between the way the Japanese apply themselves and the way Americans do.

For instance, "Back In The Day" a movie like HALLOWEEN or NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD was allowed to stay in the theater as long as it needed to find its audience and make a healthy profit. It could start small, maybe screening in one state first, then as it gained attention it could expand to other states where similar movies are doing well.

But now movies open EVERYWHERE, all at once. They make what they can opening weekend, and then the studio sells the dvds. If they happened to be out-gunned that weekend, too bad.

That's American corporate thinking: Make as much as we can IMMEDIATELY. The Japanese corporate thinking described in RISING SUN is this: Put out a good product, and keep tweaking it until it evolves into the best, most cost-effective version it can be. You're going to loose money for years, but in the end you'll dominate the marketplace. American thinking is: If we're not making profits every 3 months, you're jobless.

I like to believe the reason Tommy and Brian and Kelly and I (and Chuck, and My Genius Friend Dave) aren't rich and famous right now is because we're doing it more the Japanese way: We continue laying the groundword for ourselves, tweaking our skills and abilities every step of the way, so that when we do get our feet in the door, we'll totally dominate!

But then, maybe that's just me rationalizing a mis-spent ealry-adulthood.

NAH!

WE RULE!!!

So anyway, I've got some work to do. PEACE!!!

CAN'T GET ENOUGH KEVIN SMITH!!!

I just finished 6 of his blog entries! Which catches me up to early May. When I got hooked on his blog I decided to go back to his first one and catch up to Present Day, so if he makes a reference to someone or something I don't know about, I know it's just part of his life I'm not privy to -- you know, rather than feeling that desperate need to go back and re-read everything to see if I missed something.

So I'm laughing along, digging on Smith's honesty and frankness, and then I hit this entry that MOVES ME!!! If you're reading this p.o.s. blog you have the time to click over and check out his! He's in Canada with his wife, getting ready for his first co-starring role in someone else's movie (he had to audition for the role and everything) and he's driving around, checking out the city, and he just goes into this flashback to his filmschool days AND MAN!

Seriously, tears welling up and everything!

http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m=20050508

This guy knows how to write! He knows what humans are, what makes us human. You know? He seesm to get -- either intuitively or intellectually -- that by just digging around in his own psyche he's also allowing us to sort of explore the dusty old trunk in the attic of our own personalities, our own desires and accomplishments and regrets and joys.

Anyway...

I am a reading/writing mofo right now!!! Last night I finished 5 pages of Ezekiel Hollow!!! Than then I printed them out -- it's nice to feel them in my hands, to read the words off a page -- and it turned out to be 16 and a half pages!!! (I write on just that old-school WordPad program, the one you can't even find on Windows XP anymore, and it doesn't have a page-break option, so when I number the pages they always turn out to be a little more that what the Print Preview option suggests.)

Dude, 17 pages!!! I'm about 10 pages from being done with Episode 1!!!

Then the night before, of course, I went on my Snicket binge.

But the night before that I read the first 2 chapter of --------, and took extensive notes. Like, REALLY extensive notes! I surprised myself with the insight I was getting into the piece!!!

Oh, and -------- is the non-name of a project Tommy, Brian and I are working on adapting on spec (which is the WORST way to try to do a project -- for any possible aspiring writers who might, on the off-off-off chance be reading this), but it's the ONLY option we have if we have ANY shot at actually doing it. So like the Crazy Folk we are, we're doing it. (We've got this take that no one else can invision, that I honestly believe makes us the right people for this project!!!)

And the first part of adapting source material is to familiarize yourself with it. So I'm re-reading it. Slowly, but thoroughly.

And it's working out nicely!!! I have to -- HAVE TO -- takes these breaks during projects. I can bust out 5 pages of Ezekiel Hollow, for example, in one night, but then I've got nothing for another 3 days. No matter how hard I try, I can only come up with crap (if ANYTHING AT ALL) for the next 3 days or so -- until my creativity has a chance to reboot and get back on track. And so in that interum, all I'm good for is entertaining my imagination in whatever ways it's in the mood for.

Before we started working on --------, that has meant Douglas Adams's work, Tomb Raider (the games) some comics, some metaphysical reading and Homestar Runner.

But now, I can give a night to source material research, piss a night away (the games and books and stuff), and then be ready for more pages.

Now, that's a rough approximation of the way my creativity seems to be working at present. I've only read the first 2 chapters of -------- so far, and I just happened to get some writing done last night. I don't have an actual schedule, per se. I just sort of go with the ebb and flow: When I feel it, I move on it. But I get bored really, really easily; and luckily the way I ENJOY alleviating boredom is through creative pursuits!!! (I'm either feeding the imagination or putting it to work. That's a party in my world!)

What I Learned From Lemony Snicket

Brian and I saw a sneak preview of CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY last night!!!

It was pretty darn good!

When I first saw the trailers and commercials for it, I wasn't thrilled, because Tim Burton seems -- to me, anyay -- to have forgotten that Story is as important a part of a movie as the visuals are. (Did you see his version of PLANET OF THE APES? Superbly perfect visuals, but you don't really care very much about the characters! It's just a matter of "and then this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened, and then SURPRISE! The Earth is different now! No reason why, just SURPRISE!") But some of the people whose opinions I trust most -- includung my writer friend, Chuck, who is, like, 10 times the writer I am -- told be "No, no, NO! You HAVE to see BIG FISH! DUDE! YOU of ALL PEOPLE should see this movie!" And I haven't, yet. But when I stumbled onto some Sneak CHARLIE passes after Brian expressed and interest in the flick, I figured I could open my tiny opinion just a smidge.

Besides, as Brian pointed out on the way to the theater, even if it sucks, it was free.

Turns out, though, that the movie didn't suck at all!!!

Maybe Burton's growing up a bit.

I mean, don't get me wrong: I'm ALL ABOUT retaining our childlike (that's "child-like" and not "child-ish") qualities as we grow older!!! I believe that the moment we relinquish our sense of whimsy, our sense of humor and our sense of fun we're just waiting for the grave! But it seems to me that maturing is not mutually exclusive to having a blast! My perception is that maturity is simply a matter of realizing that other people are sharing this planet with us, and we can share our fun with them! OR, if they're intent on having a miserable time -- as some on our planet are -- we can at least not allow them to recuit us into their lifestyle.

And CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY seems to indicate that Burton is maturing, without loosing a bit of his sense of humor, fun or whimsy!

So YAY!!!

Then when Brian and I got home, I was jonesing for some Lemony Snicket. So we watched LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, and Brian retired as I watched the movie again with the director commentary, then I retired and read the first 12 chapters of A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS, BOOK II: THE REPTILE ROOM (essentially the middle portion, or Act II, of the movie), and then I finished the book when I woke up.

And I was struck with a revelation!!!

First, I began to wonder why I, a 34-year-old, still enjoy Juevenile Fiction so much.

Now there are some obvious and unflattering jokes that probably spring to mind reguarding the level of my intellect, maturity or vocabulary.

Go ahead, make them. I'll wait.

Feel better?

Okay, so I started analyzing what makes up a good "children's" story. And it was THE REPTILE ROOM that gave me the answer. When the Baudelaire children have gotten to know Uncle Monty a bit, the four fall into a daily routine of working from breakfast until dinner, then catching a movie after dinner. And unlike the work they did at Count Olaf's house, each person -- even Sunny, the biter -- is doing work that they LOVE to do!!!

My immediate thought about this passage was "Now THAT'S THE LIFE!" I have been struggling for over a decade to have THAT lifestyle! I'd love to write/shoot/edit/act from breakfast until dinner time, then catch a meal with the people I love, then go see a movie. I could do that every day for the rest of my life without ever (probably) getting bored with the routine!!!

That sentence described and defined what I want most out of Life, what I'm working to attain in my Life (though I'm honestly not far from it now), and revealed the true allure and point of Juevenile Fiction: So-called "children's" stories -- when they're good, when they're not just an insulting attempt to snatch money from a so-called "less sophisticated" audience -- strip Life down to what is essantial to live well and happily.

Think about it!

"Adult" stories are mired with ambiguity and ideals that are more complex and muddled. "I love her, but I can't be with her because our society won't approve and her vicious father will make her life a nightmare if we're together, so I'll let her go for her better good, though I will undoubtedly die alone in a ditch of a broken heart." Or "I've finally discovered the truth about this man that everyone thought was great and looked up to, but I can't reveal him for the pathetic monster he is because society will better beniffit in blissful ignorance, looking up to him as a hero." That type of thing.

And I am by no means knocking those stories! We NEED those stories!!! We NEED to question our own values and develop a more strong sense of EXACTLY what we believe in and stand for!!! That function is one of the reasons I finally decided I don't need to feel guilty about wanting to receive money for doing something that's so much fun I do it even when I'm not paid.

However, and especially with all the moral ambiguity that confronts us in what often appears to be an amoral universe, it's refreshing to be reminded of the basics of what Life is about! I mean, we can be as morally high-minded as we want, but if we forget to spend most of our day doing work that fulfills us and then eating and then doing something we enjoy doing, we won't accomplish a great deal. We'll become one of those homeless guys ranting about the evils of society on a street corner, bumming change off passersby in between rants.

And there's worse than that, even. How about being a distracted husband and father who makes enough money to keep food on the table, but doesn't really KNOW his children anymore, and whose relationship with his wife has gone from romance to simply being roommates with her?

And there's much worse than that, too, but I think you get the picture.

And more astounding and illuminating to me is the SOURCE of this revelation!

I had this epiphany while reading a Lemony Snicket book! The UNFORTUNATE EVENTS series is one that parents allow their kids to read, but don't themselves read. And therefor, when the movie came out, and faithfully adapted the tone and nature of the events that happen in the stories, parents were shocked and horrified! Not all -- some parents actually DO read what their kids read! -- but a considerable number. A significant enough number to make the editing -- and re-editing -- of the movie very tricky before it's release.

See, Frank L. Baum inadvertantly did a very cruel thing to children growing up in America between the 1940s and 2000s: He removed the darkness from children's stories. He wrote a forward to THE WIZARD OF OZ explaining that he enjoyed British children's stories, but felt the children shouldn't have to be exposed to all the darkness and evil contained in (at the time) the older children's stories.

Now, granted, most of us have never read any of Baum's books, and are only aware of his creation because of that great MGM movie, which is jam-packed with darkness and evil. Still, I suspect enough US publishers read that forward (even if they ONLY read the forward) and decided that was a good idea. "Let's hide darkness and evil from children! That'll equip them for life after they grow up! We'll pretend that it doesn't exist until they're adults, then POW! Won't they be surprised!" I suspect that that's why teenagers started getting nuts around the 1950s and after, but I'm not a sociologist so take my speculation with a grain of salt.

My point is that even though the tales of the astoundingly unfortunate Baudelaire Children are frought with ongoings that tend to shock parents when they realize their children have been reading these books all this time, the CORE of the stories is this: What do we need to have a happy Life? What gets in the way of having a happy Life? How much can we do without and still lead a happy Life?

Not merely SURVIVE. Lead a HAPPY Life! ENJOY Life! Be FULFILLED in Life!!!

Now THAT is a theme worth exploring!

It's an excellent foundation for chiuldren, but more, adults could stand to revisit this theme themselves!!! What is REALLY important? Not to say that politics and religion and office finagling and possessing more wealth than your neighbors and getting revenge on people you don't like and all that doesn't have its place in adult life, but does it sometimes get in the way of living a happy Life? [I keep capitalizing "Life" because I'm refering to it not as the act of breathing and not-being-dead, but because I'm refering to all-that-it-is-and-all-that-it-can-be. An ideal of "Life", rather than the mere state-of-being known as "life".]

Then I go back to the Juevenile Fiction I still love, such as the Harry Potter books -- NUMBER 6, "THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE", COMES OUT FRIDAY!!! -- or PIXAR movies or the rare, good Disney flcik (usually not the animated ones anymore) and I realize that that is the core of good "children's" fiction!!! How do we live a fulfilling Life?

It's really quite astonishing!!!

So anyway, I should probably get ready to go to work and stuff. You know, do the "adult" thing.

But may your day be filled with childlike awe and joy!!!

One of My BEST Weekends EVER!!!

Oh, doe. I thig I hab a code in by dose!

Seems like I picked up a little cold over the weekend, so I'm taking the day off work and resting and drinking lots of liquids. (NONE of them alcoholic. Bummer.)

But this is a great time to catch up on my blog!

So I got to hang with Tisha Saturday!!! Got to spend more time with her than I imagined I would!!!

So I met Tisha around 4:00 or 4:30 pm and we listened to SOAD's Mezmerize from Georgetown to the mall by my casa. We elected to see WAR OF THE WORLDS at the mall, so that (1) we can buy the tickets immediately -- no risk of selling out, even though this was the second weekend it was out -- and (2) we didn't have to worry about leaving the mall in time to get to the other theater to buy tickets and find seats.

We dragged each other into our favorite stores: She had me cruising through girl clothes stores and I had her cruising through dvd stores. Thanks to Tish, I now know that Fast Forward sells skateboard decks!!! (I did not know that before!) I never skated -- I wanted to, I tried to, but just never could -- but I was pleased to be able to pass the info along to Brian, who still pulls out his board from time to time.

In fact, not long ago Kelly was in town. And when Tommy and I were terrorizing the street of Odessa in Tommy's '72 Javelin Brian and Kelly were terrorizing the sidewalks, parking lots and public fountains on their skateboards. And just for old-times' sake, Kelly brought his board with him. He and Brian busted out some old-school moves, and I was impressed that after so long, with no practice to speak of, these cats still OWN the boards!

But anyway, back to MY day!

So after a while Tish and I started thinking about food, and decided on Fazoli's Italian style. We had to venture outside the mall, but just a few minutes down the road.

After TOO MUCH TASTY FOOD we headed back to the mall to watch the very badass WOTW!!!

I dug it! I love the way they adapted the novel, and I love what the movie was about! And it's probably pointless to say that the effects were great, but they were!

I gotta tell ya, though, after a summer of THE HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY, BATMAN RETURNS and STAR WARS III, this movie feels a little slow. Not long or boring, but it's just got a much slower pace, it's a more intimate story (if you can believe that) than those other movies. (BATMAN is also a pretty intimate story, but on an epic scale.) Now, I don't believe that the slower pace is a detriment to the movie at all!!! In fact, I'm sure I'll be watching WAR OF THE WORLDS over and over again for the rest of my life! And I think it will be one of those that gets better and better with repeat viewings. But it's just a bit of a shock to the system to have my senses devoured from all directions by every movie I've seen in the theater since April, then to dive into a world in whcih humongous things are happening, but in a story about a man and his relationship with his kids. You know?

But to be clear, I LOVED THE FLICK!!! I'm just saying that I can understand how some people might be the slightest bit disappointed with it, coming out in the middle of one of the BEST summer blockbuster seasons we've had in a long, long time.

Koepp and Spielberg RULE!!!

So after the movie Tisha and I swung by the appartment (a) so she could see the pad -- though Brian was at work, so she didn't get to see him, which disappointed her -- and (b) so I could burn a couple of discs for her.

Brian has this life-sized pirate zombie in the hallway, so that every time you walk to the back of the appartment to go to our rooms, or to the bathroom, you have to brush past him! I don't know if Tish was a big fan of that.

At one point I was nicc-ing, so I offered to let her man the computer as the second disc finished burning for her while I adjourned to a different room to smoke and her response was "Don't you leave me alone in this house!"

Poor girl; she's staying with her aunt in Georgetown, who just moved into this SUBURBAN PALACE!!! I'm talking this place is YOUR dream home! (I don't care who you are, YOU WISH YOU LIVED IN THIS HOUSE!!!) I'm talking 2 storeis of all the space you could ever want, upstairs deck that spans an entire side of the house... just GORGEOUS!!! And that's where Tish was sleeping while she was here.

Then there's Brian's and my appartment... 2 beds, one bath. It's cozy, but it's small. I mean, it serves us very, very well! It's HOME. For US. For everyone else, though, it probably fits a little snug.

That being said though, Tish made herself right at home. This chick is COOL! She can just fit in ANYWEHERE SHE IS! She even left a great message for Brian on the dry-erase board in his room.

By the time we were done here, Tish was jonesing for a white-chocolate foamy thing at Starbucks. So I called up Traci -- she and Tish hadn't yet met face-to-face before, though they had talked on the phone and knew tons about each other through me -- to see if she could meet us there, and she did!

DUDE!!! How Heavenly is this: Me, Tisha, Traci, and strong coffee with mocca in it?!! Does life get any better?!! SERIOUSLY!!!

And it was really cool that Tisha and Traci seemed to hit it off right away! (Kelly and I talked last night, and he mentioned some amusing similarities between Tisha and Traci. For instance. they're both hot chicks who can hang with the guys, though they're both plenty girly, and they both have this boisterous-but-loving sense of humor, and you will ALWAYS laugh when one of them leaves you a voicemail!)

So that was a blast! But Tish had a midnight curfew, so we didn't spend a ton of time at Starbucks.

But females and the way they communicate! Just before we left I went to the rest room -- five minutes, tops! -- and when I came back, Traci informed me that Tisha had totally filled her in on her boyfriend! If a guy leaves a couple of ladies at a table FOR FIVE MINUTES, they have this whole other, insanely-detailed, conversation in his absense! It's nuts!

I mean, it's cool! But's it's nuts!

So then Tisha and I head back to Georgetown, where everyone is asleep but Tisha's aunt/sister (that's part of the long story I'm not telling you about) and my ex-sister-in-law, Kathrine. And Kathrine isn't ready to go to sleep yet. So the three of us sit out on her front porch and talk and laugh and catch up... until 3:00 am. And I'M the party-pooper! The ladies are still chatting and laughing as I drive off.

I gotta tell ya, Saturday was A GOOD DAY for Ray Jay!!!

And Sunday didn't suck, either!

Brian and I did our weekly dinner-thing with Mom. She took us to Joe's Crab Shack, which was TASTY!!! I ate my own body weight in shrimp!

Plus, Brian and I tossed around a couple of creative ideas (that I won't elaborate on at the moment) having to do with his recent experiements is Html and JavaScript.

Then the lovely Traci called me up to see if we wanted to watch SUPERSIZE ME at her place. (This chick lives in a palace, too!!! If I haven't mentioned it before. I seem to know a lot of people who live in these great houses... I wonder what that's about.) When I get toTraci's, her very cool sister, Julie pulls up right behind me!

So the 3 of us hunker down for some education and entertainment about the effects of consuming fast food, then get into a lively discussion about health and eating habits and economics and all that afterward.

But the conversation doesn't go on as long as conversations with Traci usually do because Julie is dog-tired, Traci has to get up early in the morning (she's back on what I call Normal People Hours, poor thing!) and tonight turns out to be one of the nights I'm allergic to Scooter and Harpo.

I maybe should explain: Traci has these great cats! They're really cool and really pretty and sometimes surprisingly sociable! But from time to time, and with no logic or reason that I can see, I'm really allergic to them. The back of my throat get's all itchy and I become all runny, and breathing sometimes becomes a little bit more of a challenge. Lats night was just the itchy and the runny. But still, a fun as the night was, it was over too soon.

And that pretty much puts me here, now, in my room, drinking non-alcoholic liquids and hoping I'm back to Good by Wednesday -- the next day I'm scheduled to work.

However, if a slight cold is the price of a weekend like this past one, I'LL TAKE IT!!!

YEAH, BAY-BY!!!

And Then God Said "Straighten Up Down There!"

Thank you, God, for THE RAIN!!!

A storm burst out in Central Texas tonight!!! (YES, I AM blogging about THE WEATHER.) After I-can't-remember-how-long, the nigh-unbearable heat was finally broken up by a thunder storm for the record books! (Probably... maybe not... but it was quite a storm!) I strolled outside the station for a smoke break, and it DID NOT stop thundering for the entire 5 or so minutes!!! It smelled like an elecrtical fire out there! I'm talking 5 minutes of continual thunder and enough lightening to power a small continent!

And I'm stuck in the TV station, which is a very exciting place to be during any meterological event. The TV signal gets fuzzy, then we take a power hit, then the lights come back on and these weather alerts start clicking out rolls of paper while a robotic voice drones on about what sort of warning we're under and what counties are affected and for how long. And there are weather crawls that I have to key onto the screen while engineers are running around re-starting equipment and fixing the crawl-keyers, which it turns out don't work like they're supposed to, only we didn't know because the weather for the last 2 months has been uniformly Oppressively Hot. Then the power goes out again, for a full 11 seconds.

I should explain that 11 seconds in TV Time is much, MUCH longer than eleven seconds in Real World Time. 2 seconds is an eternity in TV Time! In 2 seconds you can lose your signal, identify the problem and press a button to bypass the problem and get the signal back on the air before the viewers at home have a chance to even think about picking up their phones to call and complain.

Count it out with me:

One Mississippi, two Mississippi.

In that long a problem can happen and be fixed.

In TV Time.

There are 24 frames in a single second of film, 30 frames in a single second of video. (Most TV shows are shot on film and transfered to video.) If you hold an image for 2 frames, it's long enough for the eye to transmit a message to the brain that it has seen something different than what it was looking at, and for the brain to form a rough picture of that image and show it to you. In 2 seconds the brain can process a great deal of information.

If you're watching your TV and the screen goes black, it'll take 5 seconds before you begin to really worry that there's something wrong. (Watch some TV for a couple of hours and try to count how much black you see on the air. My guess is that unless you're watching PBS, you won't see more than HALF A SECOND -- One missi... -- of black during any random 2-hour block.)

However, if you're watching TV and you do see 5 seconds of black, EVERY SECOND AFTER THAT is ETERNAL.

So when we lose signal for more than 5 seconds, it feels like we're in black forever! And as a Master Control Operator my job is to stay the hell OUT of black!

Still, Acts of God are the excusable exception, and of course, we don't get in trouble for them. But we're wired to panic when TV viewers aren't looking at what they're supposed to be looking at, so even though we can't fix that particular problem (we have a back-up power generator that takes care of that for us, natch) we're still programmed to panic over every passing second.

Blah.

You probably didn't log on to read about what my job is like during a storm, but all that it to illustrate what a HUGE even this thunder storm was for me tonight!!! (Besides, it's my blog! You think it's boring? Stop reading! Have I mentioned that Kevin Smith's blog is really badass? It's at www.silentbobspeaks.com.)

IT was COOL!!!

OH! And that's not even the most exciting news!!! TISHA IS IN TOWN!!!

Actually, she's in Georgetown. But in Central Texas, it all feels like Austin. (Similar to L.A. and NYC in that way.) You're half an hour away from anywhere.

And I'm working tomorrow, but SHE'S GONNA GO SEE WAR OF THE WORLDS WITH ME SATURDAY!!!

First, I get to hang with Tisha!!! Then on top of that, I'm finally gonna see WAR OF THE WORLDS!!!

Life can be so gratifying at times!

Not much else to say, really. One of the main reasons I'm making this entry is to shove that stupid prank entry closer to the bottom!

I didn't tell you: So Tommy leaves me a voice message Monday, just thanking Brian and me so much for keeping an eye on their house and the animals, and I get The Guilt so I have to call him back and tell him that the prank entry is just a joke!

Am I a WUSS or what?!!

But he's all "Dude, we appreciate it so much, and just thank you guys" and I cave!

You know what I'm waiting for, though? For Tommy to sort of chuckle and say "You know I read you're blog! That's why I left that message, cause I knew it would kill you." And then he'll point and laugh! And then my entire Fifth Grade class will materialize out of nowhere and point and laugh at me, and then I'll look down and see that I'm only wearing my underwear, and then Mrs. Wallce will pop up behind me a pointedly inquire why I haven't turned in my test yet, and inform me that it's three hour late, and then...

No wait. I guess I'm not really afraid ALL that will happen.

But I wouldn't be surprised if Tommy told me he had read the blog before he left me that really sweet message. You didn't hear his voice. Surely he wasn't THAT appreciative! (Or was he? I'm a worm!)

Hey, on a serious note: I seriosuly doubt anyone who doesn't know me is reading this blog at this point, but England got hit today. 5 coordinated bombings in London. I heard about it on BBC4 as I was making breakfast, and it shook me up. I get how they must have felt 4 years ago on September 1st, being an ocean away but wanting to help. If anyone in England -- or who has loved ones there -- should happen to stumble upon my stupid little blog, please know that my prayers are for you tonight!!! And my love! And my deepest, sincerest concern and well wishes! Britan and the British have withstood far, far worse than this cowardly terrorist-shit, but I still wish you love and strength as you all recover!!!

As pathetic as this outpouring of sympathy is in the midst of a spewing of trivial guff from an insignificant little man in Texas, this blog is about my life and what affects me. And what happened in London today affected me.

God bless this pittiful little planet, even as we try to wrend ourselves apart!

3 Pages Yesterday!!!

I'm excited to report that I got another 3 pages yestarday, bringing the page-count of Episode 1 up to 10!!!

AND, I'm still on schedule!

Tonight was a night of bad filmmaking.

First, Brian and I watched Uwe Boll's latest bowel movement ALONE IN THE DARK. If the guy didn't make movies based on popular videogames (he's the genius that gave us HOUSE OF THE DEAD, and even cut away from his movie to SCENES FROM THE ACTUAL VIDEOGAME!!! Otherwise, you wouldn't even know that the two are related to each other.) his movies wouldn't make a cent!

Although, I have to say that this movie at least LOOKS like a sci-fi horror film. HOTD looked merely like a film-school thesis project. (Good solid C: Boll is daring in his attempts to revolutionalize the medium, but his choices are often erratic and distracting, and he had no sense of story or the importance of emotionally involving the audience in the film. That's if it were a student effort. Professionally, send this guy to McKee and don't let him behind a camera again until McKee say's it's okay! And make Boll pay the tuition!!!)

Boll's detrimental failure is that he doesn't realize that the audience has to care about what's going on before we can be excited or frightened by it. He seems to think that the emotions pring from the images themselves, rather than being hard-won by the writer and the actors. In AITD Christian Slater, Tara Reid and Stephen Dorf were acting their asses off for him, but I still didn't compelled. It was just all happening in front of me, Not once did I jump or feel tense or feel ANYTHING realted to the story. It's like the worst of the FRIDAY THE 13TH franchise in that the story is simply a succession of "...and then this happens, and then this happens, and then this happens...".

But Uwe Boll is not the worst filmmaker making movies today.

It is highly possible that Timothy Hines is. I bought a 3-hour dvd calling itself "H. G. Welles' War of the Worlds" that reveals that even the most inept filmmaker in Hollywood has at least a modicum of skill and savvy.

I sincerely recommend this movie for all aspiring filmmakers. It very clearly illustrates just how baddly filmmaking can be done. I'm serious! The worst staright-to-video horror flick you ever rented? THIS is WORSE! I'm not exaggerating.

But I won't go on about that movie. (I burdenned my filmmaking buddies in interminable detail about some of the specifics of this film's mistakes.) Suffice it to say that if you're ever tempted to think "Well this is GOOD ENOUGH" a viewing of this attempt at adapting War of the Worlds will encourage you to work longer and harder!

But anyway... This has been a night of bad flicks. Which is groovy! I was in the headspace to tollerate them! Sometimes is useful to see exactly what not to do. You feel better about where you are, creatively, and get impitus to not slack-off! It can be difficult and disheartening to ONLY measure yourself against those who inspire you. (Though over-exposure to those less creatively mature than you can quickly give you a false sense of security! You want to be LIKE your heroes, not merely UNLIKE the kids on the short bus!)

And I've gotta say that tonight's movie viewing makes me eager to re-evaluate the pages I've already written. How far am I away from the short bus?

Not So Much A Party Any More...

4:00 am and the party's really rolling!

At first it was Brian and me and the two dogs -- Matty and Penny -- and the cat.

But then Traci came over and brought her friends Jason, Bill, Julie and Nicole and the whole event just took off!!!

Brian and I had borught some salmon and shrimp scampy for dinner, but that obviously wasn't going to serve 7. So we had to drive back into town to find a Walmart that was open and pick up some more shrimp and salmon, along with some refried beans and cheese and chips for appetizers. But it was too late to buy more beer.

Luckily, though, Brian and I are alcoholics, so we had enough to last for a while.

I phoned up my friend Marvin, who always knows how to get hold of plenty of intoxicants, and he said he could be here in an hour and a half.

It actually took him 3 hours to get here, by which time we had completely cleaned out the booze Brian and I brought, as well as the mere 2 bottles atop Tommy's fridge!

And we were chowing on bases (non-acidics: the cheese, beans and corn chips), so we were loosing our buzzes pretty quickly.

As our buzzes started to leave us, we started getting creative... and that's when Nicole and Bill did this clever thing on top of each other in one of Tommy's really, really nice chairs AND IT BROKE!!!

The good news is that it killed 15 minutes for all of us as we tried to figure out how to fix the recline-y part, and then another 7 or 8 as we just tried to figure out how to make the chair not look broken. By which time Marvin showed up with the liquor and 4 friends, only one of whom was a girl and none of whom I recognize.

And it looks like Marvin and them were already pretty basted BEFORE they came! I don't know HOW they made it all the way out to Elgin in their condition!!! (I don't even want to know which one of them was driving!!!)

So anyway, by this Matty (the smaller of the dogs, the one who is allowed into the house propper -- Penny hangs out in a utility area in the back of the house with a doggy door that leeads to the back yard) is getting a little freaked by all the noise and commotion. I've seen her in large crowds before, and she usually sits beneath one of the dinning room chairs and just sort of puts up with us. But I guess it was all too much for her, and she starts barking! Marvin's female friend, it turns out, has this thing about dogs, and she just totally looses it! Penny gets too excited and tears down the kiddy fence that usually keeps her in the untility room, and she leaps on one of Marvin's friends! Penny, I think, just wants to 'rassle, but this dude has to prove what a big strong guy he is and starts yelling at her.

Marvin and I calm him down and talk him out onto the deck -- which, I have to admit, is kind of a wreck by now. Beer cans and cigarette butts friggin' EVERYWHERE!!!

But anyway previously new-looking coffee table has this scratch across it, and I think there's a gouge in the fabric of the already broken recliner.

Yep, it's a gouge. You can see the stuffing when you sit in it (which I wouldn't recommend you do, anyway!).

Anyway, since tomorrow's the Forth, Traci's friend Jason brought over some firecrackers, and we're shooting them off in the driveway. And the cat is an outdoor cat that just sort of wanders around whereever it likes. Well it decided to wander into the firing range just as Marvin ignites this whirling, sparking, noise-making ball thingy, and the cat just FREAKS and takes off down the driveway headed, it looked liked, for the highway!!! Now, the cat wanders around, but Tommy's got enough land that it can wander forever without ever leaving Tommy's property, and I don't think I've ever seen it in the street.

So a couple of us chase it, but it just keeps running down the street, and so I get in my car to try to catch her and bring her back. But I guess my headlights or the noise of the engine freak her out even more, and she darts off into someone else's yard... someone with this HUGE wooly white demon-dog!

We haven't seen her for an hour, but I'm hoping she'll find her way back.

Meanwhile, Brian and Traci and I are trying everything we can to get the smell of burnt salmon and garlic cheese bread out of the kitchen -- luckily, you can't burn shrimp; though you can turn the garlic butter sauce into a wierd, crusty, solid, brown substance.

And Marvin's passed out on the couch.

Tommy's trying to sell the house. Did I mention that? And although I'm pretty sure Brian and I can clean up most of the stains on the carpet -- eventually -- I don't think we can get Marvin off that couch before noon tomorrow. It's the 4th, so he doesn't have to go to work.

OH WAIT!! IT'S THE 4TH OF JULY TOMORROW!!! Everybody's off work!!! So surely no one would want to spend their holiday looking at houses for sale!!!

Lucky break there!!!

--

Oh and one more little detail... This whole entry has been an elaborate ruse, cooked up to give Tommy a heart attack.

He probably figure out that it was all bull paragraphs ago, but I'm dropping it in just in case Dave or someone is reading it. And also in case I was possibly too clever and Tommy's blood pressure did shoot up a couple notches for a moment.

I'm writing this entry from my apartment. Since everyone is off tomorrow, we figured they might want to look at a house that's on the market -- ESPECIALLY Tommy's lush pad!!! -- and so we opted not to spend the night. The pets are all well taken care of, and all is well at the White House. (Tommy's last name is White. So is his wife's and his daughter's. Funny that, his Dad and Step-mother have the same last name, too!)

Though Brian and I did have a lovely meal of baked slamon and shrimp scampy and garlic cheese bread! It was fantastic!!! And we ate it while watching SKY CAPTAIN AND THE WORLD OF TOMORROW with Tommy's surround-sound up pretty lound.

But then we cleaned up after ourselves and came home. Brian's already crashed for the night (after a 19-hour day!).

It's fun being a writer! This has been a neat little exercise in delicately balancing factual detail and over-the-top imaginings. I can't wait to hear what Tommy thought as he read it, and hear how well or poorly I pulled it off!!!

Oh, and apologies to Traci and Marvin for using their names in vain!

HOUSE PARTY!!!

My friend Tommy's out of town, and Brian and I have a key...!!!

But Tommy and his lady are trying to sell the property, so what ever damage Brian and I do tonight, we'll need to clean MOST of it up by 8:00 or 9:00 am.

AAARRRGGHH!!! Tommy's computer is attacking me!!! I'm being assaulted with loud, wierd sounds and offers to upgrade Tommy's anti-spyware! And when I try to click one offer away, another one just pops up in its place!

Then I FINALLY get the first 5 boxes to go away, AND ANOTHER ONE POPS UP IN IT'S PLACE!!! I think the Windows toolbar just wants some attention, and it simply WILL NOT go away until it gets exactly the amount of attention it desires.

It's like a friggin' gigapet!!!

So anyway...

Oh, yeah! Traci's birthday today!!! YAY!!! It's wierd, because Traci's birth is actually, like, a present to the rest of us!!! (Well, all of us who know her, anayway!) So we all get presents because of her first birthday!

Okay, I didn't articulate that well, but it makes a kind of sense. Really.

Um, not done much writing since I last reported. It's been a busy-ass week! And I've been filling in at work these last 2 Saturdays, so Sunday I'm just not really in a creative space. It's more like just cath my breath a recouperate... a little.

Still, not disheartened by this apparent lack of progress. Because I have had some cool ideas that will be implimented the next time I write some pages, and I sort of trust this current process. In the past I've been all uptight about how fast or slow the words hit the page, but experience has shown me that -- for me, at least -- the words come out when they come out. What's more important is for me to make sure that when I do write, the words are good ones, and they're placed in more or less the right order.

'Cause writing is like channeling anyway. Seriously, I'm not creating the story. I come up with some parameters into which I'd like the story to fit, but there's Someone Else doing the actual creation. I'm just taking dictation.

I think that's why authors get so excited when they write good pages; we're reading those pages for the first time ourselves, as though we picked up someone else's book. We're not excited that WE'RE so amazingly talented, we're just excited that we're reading a good story. Plus, we're happy that we get to put our name on it! (Imagine picking up the screenplay for STAR WARS and seeing your name on it!)

I think that fighting that particular reality might be my major blockage all these years: I wanted to BE THE GUY CREATING THE STORY. But apparently writing doesn't happen that way. We get to edit, but the story gets told to us by our Muse, in our Muse's own time. And like Douglas Adams's editors, the sooner we can accept that reality, the less tense and more productive we can be. (Douglas Adam's had said a few times that he loved deadlines: he loved the whooshing sound they made as they flew past.)

So...

Not really posting for any reason other than keeping up the habbit right at the moment. Nothing pressing that I want to share. No big breakthroughs of any kind. Just pretty much happy to have the day off.

OH! Last night Traci visited me at work! She brought over a HUGE piece (perhaps "section" is a more acurately descriptive word) the most sinfully chocolate cake I can remember tasting!!! Her mom made it for her birthday, and Traci -- sweet, sweet woman that she is -- shared it with me!!! I COULD KISS HER!!! (You know, if she'd let me...) THIS is the generous and loving spirit that is Traci!!!

Okay, I need to give Tommy's animals some more love. (It's been half and hour now, I think they're running a little low.) Plus, Brian's been awfully quiet for a while... Wonder what that's about...