Um... Hello?

Yeah, sorry it's been a while... I've kind of been busy...

So when did I last blog?

Back in MAY! Yikes!

Okay, so I'm officially old.

I watched my 17-year-old daughter graduate high school.

Now, to be fair, she graduated a year early. ;P

And in all honesty, I could not be more proud of her! She's a really, really cool chick and she has worked her ass off to get where she is. And in some ways her journey is just beginning! She's planning to be a psychiatrist, so she still has years of college ahead of her.

But she knows when to take a moment and celebrate, too! And HOW to... LIAR'S DICE!!! :D

But I get ahead of myself...

Okay, so Brian & I saw Indy 4 a couple of Mondays ago, right? Well, that Tuesday morning I borrowed Brian's car to go buy the Dark Horse Comics adaptation of the flick ('cause I'm just that obsessive) and I killed his car. It died just a quarter of a mile from home. :( It overheated, which is a problem we've been battling for a while. (Btw, the reason I borrowed Brian's car is because he had to work Tuesday and my car has air-conditioning, so he was in mine. Neither here nor there, just clarifying.)

So it's looking like I'm going to miss watching Tisha graduate! :(

I went to bed, woke up, talked to Brian, and the diagnosis was that his car was indeed fucked-up.

He had to work last weekend, so I couldn't take our only car out of town!

I was bummed. I decided the best way to deal with it was to drink and sulk Tuesday night, then I'd start trying to look for an actual solution Wednesday (if one was to be found).

Well, I didn't even get to sulk for very long, because my friend Kathrine (Tisha's aunt/sister and my ex-sister-in-law... but more than that, one of my best friends since the late-80s) called. She quickly explained that I couldn't not be there, so she would give me a lift and help me out financially if I needed, and that was that.

I was still surly for another half-hour or so, but only because it all happened so fast and I rarely sulk, so it takes a lot for me to decide I'm gonna sulk, and once it's turned on it doesn't just switch off. But she kept me on the line until I was back to my playful self.

Thing is, we were leaving Wednesday.

I had planned to leave Thursday, then I thought I wasn't going at all, then all of a sudden I'm leaving the next day.

Bit of a shock to the system! And I'm a hermit whom is unused to leaving the apartment at all!

Oh... and did I mention that Kathrine has 5 kids, from 2 to 13?!!

Still, it turns out that her kids are like her (in their own, individual ways) and the 8-plus-hour trip was actually a breeze.

We get in early Thursday morning and crash immediately.

Which is fine, because Tisha was crashed when we get there.

And she was still crashed when we all woke up. (She started out crashed in her bed, then when we woke up, she was crashed in a chair in the living room.)

I see her briefly Wednesday night as she's leaving to go do pre-graduation things.

In fact, Friday night was the most time I got with my daughter this weekend, lol. She slept most of the day, then did stuff with her friends at night. (It reminded me of when I was her age, always off with my theatre buddies... which makes me feel old, lol.)

During the day, starting Thursday, I became the unofficial babysitter. There were 4 women in town (Tisha's 4 sisters/aunts) who each had 2 kids... except, of course, Kathrine with her 5. So at any given time I was sort of keeping an eye on 7 to 11 kids. :O

But mainly I was watching the 2-year-old. And he mainly wanted to be outside. In the heat. Where the sun and sweat and hot-ness was. All day.

Here's the deal: I have become a vampire recluse who pretty much only sees the sun set at the beginning of his day and rise at the end of his day. I live with my brother, who is also quite reclusive by nature. We enjoy each other's company, but we're also quite cool with our alone time.

Now cut to: Ray Jay the 37-year-old shut-in who lives with his bachelor brother, turning beat red in the sun as all variety of child yells and runs around me, climbing over me from time to time and starting fights with each other (loud fights, naturally) from time to time just to keep things interesting.

That's not really very accurate at all, but that's how it felt, pretty much, lol. I mean, I'm a guy who voluntarily went without a girlfriend (and the benefits thereof) for over a decade because I prefer quiet contemplation to emotional reactivity.

And now I'm surrounded by beings of pure, unbridled energy and emotion, lol.

Actually, I like kids quite a bit. When you're dealing with kids, you can't allow yourself to be neurotic. (I mean, lots of people do, but they really shouldn't.) Kids are like a Zen rock garden in that you get the most out of your time with them (and they out of their time with you) when you let all the blah-blah mental crap go and just focus on right here and right now.

Kid-sitting is a wonderful meditation! :)

Particularly if you're not a parent, and can go back to your adult roommate and self-created lifestyle at the end of the day, or the week, lol. ;P

But the point of all that is to say that I had a challenging and exhausting week.

And a deeply fulfilling one, as well! (There's a Daddy Ray Jay in here that is only ever fully alive when I'm taking care of young ones.)

While I was watching the kids (mainly the 2-year-old, honestly; the rest could take care of themselves and behaved themselves, thankfully) the womenfolk were doing... I don't know... But there was plenty of cleaning and cooking and shopping and arranging and organizing involved. Kids I get: Don't let them fall on their head or eat electricity. What the ladies were up to was ineffable and confusing, and seemingly unending. So I'm glad to have gotten the easy job.

Friday night was sort of "adult night". About an hour before graduation, Kathrine's 13-year-old took over Kid Duty and I got to dress up nice and hang with the adults.

I got to meet...

...hmm...

Okay, there's a kink in this narrative that's kind of strange to just sort of toss in right here in the middle, but that's sort of how it cropped up on the day-of...

Okay, I've talked about Tisha's eventful life and my rather abnormal relationship with her in previous posts. (You might have to go way back to find it/them, though.) But there's a wrinkle I haven't blogged about, because I fear it might make people's heads explode.

But Tisha makes jokes about it, so I'm gonna go ahead and include it in this blog entry...

Okay, Tisha was adopted by my ex-in-laws. So my ex-father-in-law is "Dad" to her, and my ex-mother-in-law is "Mom". Now, since my ex-wife's parents are Tisha's parents, my ex-wife is -- in Tisha's heart and mind -- her sister. (That's why I refer to Tisha's sisters/aunts above.) But I get the easier title: "Biological Father".

However...

There is another man who may be Tisha's biological father...

It's really, really sordid and strange, but it's Tisha's life and she's cool with it. She wants a test so she knows, just for her own curiosity, but she doesn't want the rest of us to know. She wants to be the only one. (The bonds we each have with her were created over years and years, and she doesn't want the relationships to be changed or tainted by the results of a blood test.)

In fact, Tisha's apparently so comfortable with the situation that...

Wait, wait... Let me hop back to where I was...

So after hearing about the Other (possible) Bio-Dad, Friday night I actually got to meet him.

It was a little weird at first.

I mean, I'm comfortable with who I am. Hell, I'm proud of who I am! :D I like me, and I love being me.

But...

Well, spiritually speaking I'm a really hoopy frood that anyone would be lucky to sazz (obscure nerd references not withstanding). But Other (possible) Bio-Dad...

He's got a couple of real jobs (both of which pay real money), military service, and some degrees!

Me...? Well, if you're reading this you know me...

So did I feel territorial and intimidated?

I'm a guy! It took every ounce of restraint I could muster not to piss on his leg and yell "Mine! Mine! Back off!"

Worse is the fact that if it weren't for some compelling physical similarities, I would really have to question who's DNA helped create the young woman who was graduating a year early so she could get her PHD and open up her own psychiatric practice a year sooner.

But it turns out he's good people. I couldn't dislike him if I tried. He and his girlfriend are smart, charming, fun, generous people who are willing to stay up all night playing Liar's Dice.

So...

Friday night, we adults got dressed up, piled in some vehicles and drove off to watch (well, 5 of us, anyway) our daughter graduate.

The ceremony was what you probably imagine: A lot of waiting.

It was held in the college auditorium where, it turns out, Other (possible) Bio-Dad received one of his degrees (show-off, lol). He told us that his graduating class each stowed a marble in their paw, and when they crossed the stage to shake hands with the dean and receive their diploma, they slipped the marble into his hand! :)

This tickled my fancy!!!

You're all geared-up in formal robes, surrounded by tons and tons of proud (and emotional) parents, trying to maintain this air of pomp and circumstance, and you suddenly find yourself with all these marbles that you have to find something to do with, inconspicuously so as not to let your audience know, and fast because here comes another joker with another frickin' marble for you! LMAO! :D

Tisha's clan was seated right up in the first row of the parent section, so we got to take pictures of her while she and her row were standing in line to go up on stage. At one point, I hear one of the ladies (possibly my ex-wife) ask her "What do you have in your hand?"

She showed us.

It was a yellow golf tee!!! :D

Apparently, the graduating class of 2008 (190 or so students) was slipping their principal golf tees!!!

(That's my girl.)

After Tisha crossed the stage (and deposited her tee) many of us slipped away to ready the house for Tisha's graduation party. For my part, I found myself digging through a huge shoe box filled with Tisha pics to cover the wall nearest the front door with, so that everyone who entered was assaulted with a gallery of both Tisha's proudest and most embarrassing memories, lol.

She hit her party first, then left us to party with her friends, then returned a couple of hours to finish up her evening at home.

But as soon as she was out the door, the adults got our drink on.

Immediately, my ex-wife hooked me up with some Rum Punch. ("What kind of pirate doesn't like his Rum?" she teased me.)

Then we broke out the Liar's Dice (aka "Pirate Dice") and the party was under way.

Probably the main reason I mentioned Other (possible) Bio-Dad is this...

When Tisha returned to her party, she had a dude I'd never met before in-tow. (A really groovy cat with an excellent Pauley Shore impersonation!)

When making introductions, Tisha said the following: "These are my dads, this is my sister -- she's my mom -- and my mom and dad are asleep in the house."

THAT is my GIRL!!! :D

Groovy Weasle-Dude looked like his head was going to explode for a second! ;P

I couldn't believe that came out of Tisha's mouth! I mean, how COOL is that young woman to turn a complicated lineage into THE BEST PARTY JOKE EVER!!!

That was also the highlight of my vacation! I mean, as proud as I am of Tisha's hard work and achievement, that's got to be one of the greatest lines ever imagined! And delivered impromptu in a real-life situation, no less!!!

I believe we all ended up calling it a night around 5:30 am.

Saturday and Sunday were cool, but Tisha was characteristically absent (either sleeping or busy with stuff), so the highlight for me was Friday night.

And the ride back, Sunday night, was actually quite fun! :)

Then Monday came and I had to take care of rent -- which was its own specially little hassle.

HOWEVER...

While taking care of rent, I bumped into an old friend named Greg! I hadn't seen him in close to 10 years! He took me out to dinner and we caught up, and then we came back to my place and made sweet, sweet love.

No, I mean we caught up some more, lol.

He gave me the basis for a character and situations that I think might become my "Tarzan". :D (Sort of... Burroughs didn't co-create Tarzan with anyone, as far as I know...)

Then Tuesday night my friend Traci bought me some Starbuck's and we caught up on her life.

Then Wednesday night at work I was WIPED OUT, lol. I am SO NOT used to having this much of a social life. Usually, when I take time off work to travel I take a few days off before the trip and a few days off after the trip. But things just didn't work out that way this time.

Not that I would change a single detail, though! (I mean, I'm tempted to say I wouldn't have burned up Brian's car, but that event is still fresh and we don't know what wild and wonderful opportunities Brian's car-less-ness might open up for either or both of us. So it's hard to say at the moment. If it results in Brian getting a better car, then I would hate to wish that away from him, ya know?)

But as fulfilling and enriching as the past 2 weks have been for me... I am SO GLAD my weekend is here now! I am looking forward to a whole lot of NUTHIN' for the next 3 days!

I say "nothing" but I'm actually planning to finish Snow Crash -- the cyberpunk novel by Neal Stephenson which created the concept of a Metaverse, a virtual reality which is now realized in the form of Second Life (the amazing place where I met my beloved Gnomey-Goddess!!!). And if I finish it before Tuesday, I might start on Season 4 of Alias.

But as for socializing... I don't plan on crawling out of my jammies, much less making myself decent enough to actually interact with folks.